<h2 id="ab31f244-2331-4acf-90ff-e7e0c31b3bb8" data-toc-id="ab31f244-2331-4acf-90ff-e7e0c31b3bb8" style="text-align: left; font-size: 24px; line-height: 1.2;">When the Old Habit Comes Back</h2>I identify something I want to change. It might be how I spend money, manage my weight, exercise, or practice spiritual disciplines. I set a goal. For a while it goes well.Then the old habit returns.If that sounds familiar, you’re in good company. Recently I was reading the book of Acts and found a passage that explains why change is so hard.<h2 id="d6104668-3045-4677-acc2-48affd034550" data-toc-id="d6104668-3045-4677-acc2-48affd034550" style="text-align: left; font-size: 24px; line-height: 1.2;">Peter’s Vision — and His Slip</h2>In Acts 10, Peter is praying while waiting for a meal to be prepared. He sees a sheet lowered from heaven, filled with animals, both kosher and non-kosher. A voice tells him to eat. Peter objects that he has never eaten anything impure or unclean. The voice answers that he must not call unclean what God has made clean. This happens three times (Acts 10:9–16 NIV).While Peter is still puzzling over it, men sent by Cornelius, a God-fearing Roman centurion, arrive at the door. Peter would once have refused to go with them. This time he goes, and it becomes a turning point in Gentiles being welcomed into the church (Acts 10:17–48 NIV).That is a real change of mind. But it didn’t hold. In Galatians 2, when a group who followed Jewish traditions arrived, Peter became fearful and pulled away from the Gentile believers (Galatians 2:11–14 NIV).His change was real, and it was frail. Three lessons from his story apply to the changes we’re trying to make.<h2 id="ee66a9ca-5841-42b0-9c7b-1d0fce375474" data-toc-id="ee66a9ca-5841-42b0-9c7b-1d0fce375474" style="text-align: left; font-size: 24px; line-height: 1.2;">Lesson One: Change Both Thinking and Behavior</h2>Peter’s dietary habits were long established, and it took more than a new rule to shift them. His thinking had to change too.People in recovery know this. They’re taught that staying sober means changing “stinkin’ thinkin’,” not just avoiding the drink.Research points the same direction. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is a form of counseling that targets both unhelpful thoughts and unhelpful actions. In a 2024 study in Science Advances, Norbury and colleagues at University College London tested parts of CBT separately. Setting goals for action changed how much effort people felt a rewarding task would cost. Challenging negative thoughts changed something different: the habit of blaming themselves when things go wrong. Each piece did its own work, and Peter likely needed both.<h2 id="62d3f22b-9671-45f2-b390-ae2fb6959cb6" data-toc-id="62d3f22b-9671-45f2-b390-ae2fb6959cb6" style="text-align: left; font-size: 24px; line-height: 1.2;">Lesson Two: Give Repetition Time</h2>God gave Peter the vision three times. Rewiring a long-held belief takes repetition.How long does it take? Longer than most of us hope. In a 2024 review of 20 studies, Ben Singh and colleagues at the University of South Australia found that new health habits took a median of about two months to form. The range ran from a few days to nearly a year.If you’ve been disappointed in yourself after three weeks, go easy on yourself. You may simply be mid-process.<h2 id="1a74965c-9b37-4478-9c3f-df5bef777d4a" data-toc-id="1a74965c-9b37-4478-9c3f-df5bef777d4a" style="text-align: left; font-size: 24px; line-height: 1.2;">Lesson Three: Surround the Change with People</h2>Notice what triggered Peter’s slip. No temptation appeared, and no argument was presented. A group of people walked in.Recovery circles say the same thing about the people and places around a habit. They urge people to change their “playthings, playmates, and playgrounds.” New behavior is hard to maintain when the people around you expect the old pattern.<h2 id="12819996-1edc-431f-b214-716882245e46" data-toc-id="12819996-1edc-431f-b214-716882245e46" style="text-align: left; font-size: 24px; line-height: 1.2;">Find the Missing Piece</h2>Think of one change you’ve tried to make and slipped back on. Which of the three was missing: a new way of thinking, a new behavior to match it, or people to help you keep it going?This week, add just that piece:<ul style="margin-top: 0in;"><li style="">Thinking: write the new thought on a card and keep it where you’ll see it.</li><li style="">Behavior: pick one small action and repeat it daily.</li><li style="">People: tell one person what you’re working on.</li></ul>Peter’s slip didn’t end his story, and it doesn’t have to end yours. Which of the three has been missing in your own attempts at change? I’d love to hear your thoughts. You can share them with me by <a target="_blank" href="https://www.hpaulstanleycoaching.com/contact-dr-stanley/">clicking here</a>.<div style="text-align: center;"><hr></div><h2 id="28d0083d-b906-4419-97f7-3fe24c03a208" data-toc-id="28d0083d-b906-4419-97f7-3fe24c03a208" style="text-align: left; font-size: 24px; line-height: 1.2;">Did you find this helpful? Would you like more — but not too much more?</h2>Once every two weeks, I send a short, practical article focused on living a less stressful, more abundant life — helping you maintain life balance and grow mentally, physically, spiritually, and socially over time.You can subscribe by <a target="_blank" href="https://www.hpaulstanleycoaching.com/stress-relief---life-balance-news-tips-opt-in/">clicking here</a>.

Peter changed his mind in Acts 10, then slipped back in Galatians 2. His story, plus research, shows three things lasting change needs: new thinking, new behavior, and support.

Why Lasting Change Is So Hard: What Peter’s Slip Teaches Us

Lesson One: Change Both Thinking and Behavior

Lesson Three: Surround the Change with People

Did you find this helpful? Would you like more — but not too much more?

Learn how to grow and scale your online course business using our online course platform. EzyCourse blog is designed to teach you how to create and sell online courses.

Why Lasting Change Is So Hard: What Peter’s Slip Teaches Us

Why Lasting Change Is So Hard: What Peter’s Slip Teaches Us

Related Posts

Fidgeting Until You Die? How Holy Discontent Points You Toward Your Purpose

Overwhelmed by Too Many Options? Two Steps to Know Where to Start

Why Extraordinary People Also Need to Play

What Jesus Knew About Rest (That I Keep Forgetting)

Do “All You Can Eat” Buffets Stress You Out and Sabotage Your Balance?